I’m sick of dating, relationship and (want to get) married talks.
I work in social media and it seems that the only terms that really ‘sell’—whatever that means—are ‘soul mate’, ‘single’, ‘relationship’ and ‘marriage’. Oh, don’t forget ‘move on’ and ‘ex’. These are considered to be the easiest way to get lots of retweets and bunch of likes. Just come up with something, it can be random or totally common even obnoxious, add one of those terms, et voila.
I’m a bit annoyed by my circle of friends too. Don’t get me wrong, I heart my friends and heaven knows I’d go to hell and back for them. But I’ve had heard and read enough—again, I work in social media while residing in a small town where it successfully became the best tool to catch up with everything in the big city where almost all my friends and relatives live. I can’t escape all relationship, dating and marriage mumbo jumbo, and I’m overwhelmed. Not by the talks per se, but by the realization on how much it dominates our life.
Sure it’s normal, wanting to get married or simply have a beautiful relationship. Heck, I’d love to have one. But talking about it every day and bringing it up every time we have the chance?
Have we ever looked inside to figure out what is really happening? Do we really want a marriage, or are we merely longing for love and security? Are we ready for a healthy, stable relationship or are we simply too afraid of being alone? Is the thought of a future with no one beside you completely blows you off your feet that you’d be willing to jump on anyone with ‘available’ lights on their heads?
Being in a beautiful relationship is undoubtedly a mini paradise on earth. Being in love is magical and wonderful. I bet the butterflies in your stomach feel amazing beyond words. I’d vote for love any given time. Hell, it’s nice to have regular sex with someone. But being obsessed over (the idea of) love, relationship and marriage is something else. When it dominates your thought, words and actions, how does it affect your whole being?
Mind-blowing, isn’t it?
Yesterday I was scrolling through the news feed mindlessly and stumbled upon numerous single-dating-relationship-want-to-get-married (THIS YEAR! I WANT TO GET MARRIED THIS YEAR! …OK, maybe next year?) status updates and I couldn’t help but paused and wondered: Are we that incapable of enjoying ourselves when we are alone? Can we have a normal, daily (should I mention ‘healthy’ or would it come off too harsh?) talks without desperation written all over the place?
Alone. Alone. Alone. Is it such a scary word? Can we be content and satisfied with who we are and what we have, without over-thinking or regretting the fact that we, here in this moment, are alone?
Aren’t we enough?
Some people were born in pairs. But most were born alone. Perhaps it’s nature’s way of telling us that we *are* enough. One is enough. If we can find someone suitable to spend the rest of our lives with, it’s great, but if not, it’s also fine.
Because I don’t think our happiness, or our well being for that matter, should depend on the existence of someone else. Because as much as it sounds like a denial, I truly believe that each of us is good enough, at least for ourselves, to the point that being alone should not hinder us from leading a joyful life. Because the absence of a significant other is only a situation, not a death penalty.
Let’s talk about something else. How’s your dog?
*This writing was published on Thought Catalog.