Few nights ago I sat in my bed with iPad on my lap, browsing and checking my Facebook while getting ready to sleep.
A friend, Cedrine, posted a Facebook status that caught my attention. It was a quote from Khrisnamurti. The whole thing was in French and I had to use Google Translate to understand its meaning, but it was from Khrisnamurti. And just like that, a word echoed in my mind. Vipassana.
Vipassana is a meditation technique I frequently used when I learned to meditate four years ago. Even though the great teacher passed away long before I know about meditation, I always considered Khrisnamurti as one of my best teachers.
The word echoed till I fell asleep. Vipassana. It’s been a while.
Tonight, I attended a meditation class. As I sat in silence, I started to let everything appear in my heart and mind. Thoughts. Feeling. Emotions. Fear. Hope. Anger. Joy. Sadness. Happiness. Disappointment. Love.
I didn’t make a review. I didn’t observe. I didn’t judge. I simply watched.
2 hours later I enjoyed my dinner, still in silence. It was a little weird, doing Vipassana after quite some time. And I had a tingling sensation in my chest when I looked back at what happened in my life the past few months. It was then that I realized how much I have changed.
I used to believe that suffering and pain make heart grows stronger. We learn the most valuable lessons from sadness and anger. We become wise through disappointment and fear. We learn to face life, we learn to survive and we learn to adapt through changes and suffering.
But I forgot that heart also grows through love. Heart shines beautifully through happiness. I learned from pain but I often forgot to let myself fully basks in love and happiness.
Then another thing came to my mind. The face of someone I love so dearly. The smile on his face. The light in his eyes. The warmth of his arms, the lingering peace from his lips.
That night, I realized how my heart has grown through both pain and love. Not only it survives, not only it becomes stronger, it also shines.
That was what I need. And maybe… maybe that’s what we all need. A gentle reminder, once in while, to get us through both sides of the coin called Life.